Of Baby Making Machines and Arrogant Uchihas
by That Girl Who Writes Stories
Summary: She hated him. He tolerated her. She didn't like kids. He desired them. He's arrogant, and She's the baby-making machine. This is their story. AU; Drabbles. Non-massacre.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Yeah, I know I'm supposed to update the Clan and TSWPFOWTS; but I just couldn't get this idea out of my head. Revise to seperate things on 30/08/11.

* * *

><p>Key:<p>

**Rip out his throat and feed it to TonTon! **~ Inner Sakura

_**You should totally do her. Like right now. **_~ Inner Sasuke (pretty much Sasuke's deprived hormones manifested itself into a mental person; like Inner Sakura)

_Heck yeah I will, but not here; too many witnesses/No I will not, you pervert. ~ _Thoughts to Inner Sakura/Sasuke or enunciated words

He/She remembered that day….. ~ Flashbacks

**Summary: **She hated him. He tolerated her. She didn't like kids. He desired them. He is arrogant; and She's the baby-making machine. This is their story. AU; Drabbles. Non-massacre.

* * *

><p>Drabble 1:<p>

Of Baby-Making Machines and Arrogant Uchihas

Sakura's POV

* * *

><p>"Marry me."<p>

"No thank you."

"Well, why not Sakura?"

"Well, for one thing, I hate you. Is that enough Sasuke?"

"No, now marry me."

"N-O. Can you read the word that is coming out of my mouth?"

"Hn." And he walked away.

This was a daily routine for Sakura. She would be checking up on patients when Sasuke would come into the hospital with _stupid and idiotic _injuries; and only wanting her for a doctor. The hospital has to respect the patient's wishes (not to mention he was an Uchiha; what an Uchiha wants an Uchiha gets) so he got me. Every _FREAKING_ day.

He would come in with the most _absurd _injuries. Once, he came in because he had a 'boo-boo and he wanted me to kiss it better.' I, of course, helped him come to the hospital for a reason. I threw him through a wall for wasting my time. I was almost sued by the Uchiha elders for injuring the _new _heir (yes, I did say new for a reason); but Sasuke dropped the charges claiming that I liked playing rough.

That baka.

Then rumors went around that Sasuke and I were dating, and he said they were true. I denied it (and I still do) but it's hard to when Sasuke is so _darn convincing._

I'm going to castrate him.

Believe me when I say this, I darn do know how to do it too.

Anyway, the stupid injuries aside, he would ask me every time I heal him, and, you know what happens next.

He wasn't always like this. We used to be teammates (we still are) but now, it's a strained teammate relationship. We used to have a flawless teammate relationship; but now, it's messed up. All because of Itachi.

Yes, it's the (no longer a) clan heir Itachi.

How did this happen?

Well, he finally snapped. Not the 'I'm-going-to-kill-my-whole-clan-to-test-how-strong-I-am' crazy. But the, 'No-Father-I-will-not' crazy.

You don't say NO to daddy dearest (so glad he's not my father).

I wonder why he did it now (when he just keep getting stronger every day like the protégé he is) instead when he was a kid.

So, Itachi stepped down from being the clan heir and it automatically went to Sasuke. Sasuke knows the real reason why he did it; but he won't tell anyone.

Now, how do I fit into all of this?

Well, since Sasuke is the new clan heir and he's turning 18 soon, the Uchiha elders want him to marry and have an heir.

Since I'm the only one who he tolerates (he kind of has to since we're teammates), and won't rape him/stalk/steal his clothes all the time, he asked me. And asked me, and asked me, and asked me.

At first, I thought he was joking. The second time, I thought it was a joke (but it was slightly annoying) then on the third time, I thought it was annoying. And from the fourth time on, it was a nuisance. And I hate every second of it.

The first time he asked me, he said, 'Sakura, you're my teammate and best friend, will you marry me?'

I laughed.

The second time he said, 'Haruno Sakura, will you do me the pleasure of being my wife?'

I looked at him like he was on drugs.

The third time, he just said 'Marry me, and I promise you I will make you the happiest woman alive.'

I walked away (not after I punched him of course).

The fourth time and on, there wasn't no cheesy over-used line. It was just a, "Marry me."

And I say no and/or punch him for wasting my time with that ridiculous question.

Just because I had a crush on him when I was younger, doesn't mean I do now. I guess when I told him I loved him on Valentine's Day, was the biggest mistake of my young life.

Every time Naruto is there to hear Sasuke say that, he laughs and/or punches Sasuke for 'messing with his girl'. Yes, Naruto still has a crush on me, but I believe that he's slowly seeing Hinata in a different light so they'll be together anytime this year.

Of course this is Naruto, so you never know. He is called 'the most surprising ninja' for a reason, though.

Anyway, the whole point of my life right now is that Sasuke is arrogant and trying to turn me into a baby-making machine.

My life sucks.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So, what did you think? They'll eventually fall in love though, but not too quickly. I know Sasuke seems a bit too OC, but this is how I want Sasuke to be. Slightly perverted and arrogant, but still Sasuke. I will switch POV's every chapter, but I don't know yet. I'll figure it out. So, Read and Review!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Yay! Can't believe people reviewed/alerted/favorite! Love you all! I know all those people who love my other stories are all like, "Why haven't you updated the other stories, but this one?" Well, I'm 13 people. I have to be in the _mood_ to write off a story idea I had to continue with the story. Like my favorite writing quote says: "It's easier to write a beginning and end for a story, but harder to write the middle." Or something like that. You get the point xD. Anyway, here are my responses to your reviews:

Shawn Fire: We already talked over PM and he/she understood. But, I'll just tell you what I said to him/her. I said, "I am not trying to be Sakura. I'm not like those crazy fan girls who obsess over their favorite guy character and say, 'ohh, he sooo smexy. I'd do him.' And stuff like that. I'm not that type of person. He's a FREAKING fictional character people! He won't pop out of nowhere and fall in love with you! He's called fictional for a reason. Also, just because my profile page is longer than all my stories (3/4 of the stuff is copied and pasted xD), doesn't mean that I'm trying to replace Sakura in some form or another. And about the POV thing, I wanted the POV to be third person in the summary and first person in the story. Just to clear it up. And also, again, I'm 13. I'm not James Patterson or Alice Sebold or Jane Austin or Shakespeare. I am 13 year old who just loves writing, reading, and music. I'm not the best writer of the century, and definitely not trying to be one (since I want to be a Diagnostician when I grow up; like Dr. House). I know I have a long way to go, but just let up people. I'm not the best writer, okay? Also, about Orchimaru, Akatsuki, and the reason why the Uchihas are alive, will be all explained later in the story. Also, it's called Non-Massacre for a reason! This was like the Prologue. And another thing, Sakura explained the places he proposed to, which was in the hospital for she was like always there. Make a connection people! Hope that answered all your questions." And that's what I pretty much said. Whew, that was long ;)

Terelex: I know, I wanted it to be ;)

jen1490: Thank you! I wanted Sakura to be sarcastic and you know, Sakura ;). And Sasuke _does_ suck at proposing in the story. That's the way I wanted Sasuke to be. And when Sasuke will start liking her is _way _later in the story.

emilyxsong: Thank you! And I wanted you to ;)

willam and jack and jake: Thanks, and I wanted it to be!

unknownred: Oh, hope your back feels better. Well, you have to read the story to find out the plot, now don't you? ;)

Now to the Favoriters:

emilyxsong

Saku-iimouto

trainedseamonkey95

willam and jack and jake

And the Alerters:

emilyxsong

GabbaGabba

jen1490

kimmlp

PunkEmoChick

Terelex

willam and jack and jake

Yuuki-Hime 2097

Again, I thank you all. Now that that's all done with (and long), let's go onward with the story!

* * *

><p><strong>Summary: <strong>She hated him. He tolerated her. She didn't like kids. He desired them. He is arrogant; and She's the baby-making machine. This is their story. AU; Drabbles. Non-massacre.

Key:

**Rip out his throat and feed it to TonTon! **~ Inner Sakura

_**You should totally do her. Like right now. **_~ Inner Sasuke (pretty much Sasuke's deprived hormones manifested itself into a mental person; like Inner Sakura)

_Heck yeah I will, but not here; too many witnesses/No I will not, you pervert. ~ _Thoughts to Inner Sakura/Sasuke or enunciated words

He/She remembered that day….. ~ Flashbacks

* * *

><p>Drabble 2:<p>

Of Another Hopeless Proposal and A Little Misunderstanding

Sasuke's POV

* * *

><p>"Sakura."<p>

"Ugh, what do you want Sasuke, oh wait, let me guess. 'Marry me Sakura and have little pink-haired, emotionally challenged babies.' Was I right perhaps Sasuke?" Sarcastic much Sakura? Well, I am too.

"No, you aren't."

"I, am?"

"The kids will be _black-haired,_ emotionally challenged babies. I absolutely _refuse_ to have a son with _pink hair_ of all things."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

If I wasn't Sasuke Uchiha, I would've rolled my eyes. It wasn't like it was a hard question he was asking. It was either a Yes or a Yes. She just seemed to like picking the answer that wasn't an answer. It's not like he had romantic feelings for her. He saw her as a good teammate and (not that he would admit this to anyone) a close friend. Nothing else.

The only reasons why he was asking her was, 1) His father and the Uchiha elders said if he didn't have a fiancé by the time he was 18 (or more preferably already married to an approved wife) they were going to pick a wife for him. In the Uchiha clan. Sorry, but, I do _not_ believe in incest. It doesn't matter if it's a tradition or a back-up choice, its' still incest. I don't care if it's a distant cousin, family is family. Enough said. And 2), Sakura was the only girl who he actually _liked_ well enough to talk to and not ogle/rape in sleep/steal his clothes/ jump him everywhere they went. Did he mention that even his cousins did that?

Incest! Anyway, this all wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for Itachi. A lot of things lately seem to be Itachi's fault. For one thing, he wouldn't be asking his _teammate_ of all people to _marry_ him. Another thing is him becoming clan heir, which was a great thing at the beginning, but later, it now is losing its shine to it.

"I meant what I said, now, let's get married and live happily ever after."

"Really, Sasuke? I don't fall for that 'fairytale prince' proposal Now, good bye. I have a date with my bento box."

Ugh, he couldn't let her leave. The deadline was approaching fast, and he decided to use that silly suggestion his mother suggested yesterday night.

He just came home from training with Naruto, being molested by his fan girls and being rejected by Sakura (again) when he saw his Okaasan. 

"Kon'nichiwa Okaasan."

"Kon'nichiwa musuko, ichi-nichi o dono yōdeshita ka?" **(A/N: Translations at bottom!)**

"Horrible. She said no again."

She put down the miso soup she was making and looked at him like he was an idiot.

"Uchiha Sasuke, I know I did _not_ raise you to be an idiot."

"What?"

"Son, you're rushing things!" She said and slammed her fist down on the counter. His mother turned back around and began chopping the vegetables.

"How am I rushing things? Do tell 'kaasan."

"Well, girls do not like when guys just out right ask them to marry them! Your chichi did the exact same thing to me. But I straightened him out. Anyway, you and Sakura have been teammates and close friends for years! You expect her to just go along with this big change in your relationship?"

"Yes, but she won't! That's the problem!"

"You're acting like you don't have time."

"I do have time, but it's slowly running out."

"Yes, I do know that fact. I'm trying to convince your chichi to extend your time. But he won't listen. I swear, you and Itachi are as hard-headed and stubborn like you chichi. But, there's always time Sasuke. So, take it slow."

"Take it slow? I already tried to!" I looked at her like she was crazy, which he is pretty sure she is.

"And how did you do that?" She said while putting the vegetable to cook with the noodles. Hmm, looks like we're having ramen tonight.

"Well, I, ugh, complemented her hair and then asked her."

Turning around with the knife she just used to cut up the vegetables, she pointed it at me.

"That's not slow!"

"Okaasan, it will never wo-" Her eyes flashed red and the knife tightened in her hand. Oh crap.

"What were you about to say Sasuke? I hope you weren't about to say that my plan wasn't going to work? Because you do know that mother is _always right._ Right Sasuke?"  
>Feeling slightly threatened for his life, he nodded.<p>

"Good. Dinner starts in 15 minutes, and go take a shower. You smell like cheap perfume and desperation."

Hitting him (quite hard) on the back, he went upstairs to his room while his Okaasan's tinkling laughter could be heard up the stairs.

"Sakura, wait."

She turned around, but didn't say anything.

"Go out on a date with me tonight."

The expression she used next was next to comical.

"Wha-huh?"

"I do not stutter Sakura."

She walked up to me and began looking into my eyes like she was searching for something.

"Sasuke, have you recently been prescribed so pills? Have you been taking too many soldier pills? Have-"

"Sakura, what are you talking about?"

She sighed heavily and looked into his eyes again.

"Sasuke, are you on drugs? Are you high right now?"

"What, no."

"Then you really just asked me out on a date." She was stating it like she didn't believe that he did it.

"Haha, yeah right. Naruto, I know it's you. You can let go of the henge now."

But I didn't move except raise my eyebrow at her.

She widened her eyes even farther because she realized it _was_ me.

"Then, _the_ Uchiha Sasuke just asked me out on a date."

"Yes, yes I did Sakura. Is it a yes or no?"

She just stared at me in awe like she couldn't believe it.

"Okay, since you're quiet I'm going to take your silence for a yes. I'll pick you up at eight tomorrow. Be ready, and wear something nice."

He walked away while she still sat there in dumb-struck silence.

Hn, I guess 'kaasan is _always_ right.

Sakura's POV **(A/N: couldn't resist xD)**

Woah….

…..

…

…..

….

…..

Did Uchiha Sasuke just ask me out on….a date?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Soo, what did you think? Here are the translations:**

**Okaasan/'kaasan- mother**

**Chichi-father**

"**Kon'nichiwa Okaasan."- "Hello mother."**

"**Kon'nichiwa musuko, ichi-nichi o dono yōdeshita ka? "Hello son, how was your day today?"**

**Yeah, I love Google Translation xD**

**So Review!**

**At least two or something. **

**The more reviews I get, the faster I update xD**

**Ja ne!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Yeah, not as much reviews as last time… but the alerts and favorites made up for it. I now realize, to get more reviews, you have to write more, so here it is! Chapter 3 of Sakura's and Sasuke's date. Hope you like ;) Also, just realized Inner Sasuke and Sakura haven't made an appearance yet, but they will! Eventually.

Last Chapter's Reviewers:

JennyPoohMemories: Thank you for liking my awesomsauce story And I will…try at least. ;)

bunnyboo1612: Thank you for loving it! And I am! Right now ;)

willam and jack and jake: Thank you for thinking it's funny! I try to make it…and I don't know if I am…but I guess I am… But whatever thank you!

The new Alerters:

bunnyboo1612

hopefaith

NinjaKrabz

Komaley

PostiveCharm416

Favoriters:

NinjaKrabz

JennyPoohMemories

The new Favoriters:

JennyPoohMemories

NinjaKrabz

* * *

><p><strong>Summary: <strong>She hated him. He tolerated her. She didn't like kids. He desired them. He is arrogant; and She's the baby-making machine. This is their story. AU; Drabbles. Non-massacre.

Key:

**Rip out his throat and feed it to TonTon! **~ Inner Sakura

_**You should totally do her. Like right now. **_~ Inner Sasuke (pretty much Sasuke's deprived hormones manifested itself into a mental person; like Inner Sakura)

_Heck yeah I will, but not here; too many witnesses/No I will not, you pervert. ~ _Thoughts to Inner Sakura/Sasuke or enunciated words

He/She remembered that day….. ~ Flashbacks

* * *

><p>Drabble 3<p>

Of Horrible Table Manners and Stalemates

Sakura's POV

* * *

><p>Okay, okay, she could do this. She knew she was….unappealing and would probably ruin any future dates (not that she really had time for them) in the near distant future if she went out like this. But it needed to be done.<p>

Sasuke is _so _going to have the shock of his life when he sees her like this. **Hopefully, if we cross our fingers, he'll get a heart attack and die a tragic death.** Inner said, filling my brain with hopeful scenes. _Ah, look who's back? _**I have a story for you Outer Me. A couple years ago, a mother bird set the baby bird free from the nest for she deemed the bird ready. But one day, the baby bird came back, when it was SUPPOSED to be gone. Now, I have a question for you. Why did the baby bird come back to the nest? **I rolled my eyes. _Thank you for that pointless bird analogy. I don't know much more than you about why you're here. _

Inner sighed. **Okay, I'm usually here for a) you need a backbone or b) you need help. Since Tsunade and I helped you with your backbone issues years ago, I'm going to guess that you need help. What is your current issue? **_Sasuke_, I said without a thought. **You're an idiot; let me wrap this up fast. Your both in love with each other, but your both too stubborn to admit it. In a couple of weeks, Sasuke is going to grab you and kiss you passionately and afterwards he's going to say, 'I love you.' After the love is shared, your both going to become sickingly in love with each other. By next week, you're going to get married and during the honeymoon, you two are going to go at it like bunnies. Then for years to come you're going to get pregnant with many children, you will stop, of course, after menopause, and live happily ever after. Buh-Bye.**

_Inner, wait! _**What? **_That was the stupidest thing I have ever heard myself say. _**You know what, Outer? **_What? _**When your wedding comes and right before you say 'I do' to Sasuke-kun beloved, I'm going to say four simple words. I. Told. You. So. Bye! **_Wait, what?_ But before I could contact her again, the doorbell was already ringing. Okay, I can do this. I focused my mind on my next task. Ruining Sasuke's and I's date. But no matter how much I pushed the thoughts aside, Inner's stupid advice were still whispering in the back of my mind. Her advice was stupid because, there was no way that I would ever love Sasuke, and he I. But they still wouldn't go away throughout the night.

* * *

><p>"Sakura, may I ask what you are wearing? I believe I said wear something nice, not to look like you live on the streets."<p>

What he said _was_ true. I was wearing ripped gray sweatpants and a dirty white shirt with many holes. I have dirt on skin that is showed, and I smell. My hair was in pigtails like Tsunade, but unlike hers, mine was a mess. Step 1 of ruining our date. Look like a homeless person.

"Why Sasuke, you said that I have to dress nice. In my book, I do believe this outfit qualifies for nice. I mean, if we are supposed to be future beloveds, like you tell me every day, I would like it if he knew things about me. Like the fact that these clothes are my definition of nice."

Looking me up and down, he sighed.

"I know what you are doing, Sakura. You're trying to look undesirable so you won't have to go out with me. Sorry, but your my future wife, so deal with it."

Haha, Sasuke, you just completed Step 1. Now onto Step 2, convince him I really do have poor dating skills. This will in turn make him believe that I'm not destined to be the future matriarch. If that still doesn't get through his thick, hard-headed skull, I still have Step 3. But that's just for if I'm desperate enough. Which I hope won't lead to it.

"No I'm not, Sasuke! This really _is_ my opinion of looking nice. If you can't deal with your…'future wife' looking like this, then I'm gone. Have a sad life Sasuke."

"Wait! Are you _sure_ you're telling the truth Sakura? Because I do not like being jerked around."

I inwardly smiled, check and-

"I'm serious Sasuke. Do you _ever_ think that I will lie to you?"

He stared into my eyes for a moment before he spoke.

"Sakura, you're a ninja. So, yes, I do believe your lying."

-stalemate.

Ugh, why do you have to be so smart Sasuke?

Darn. I guess I have to use Step 3 no-

"But, since you're my future wife, I will have to learn to trust you. Do _not _let me find out your lying Sakura."

Check and mate.

* * *

><p>We arrived at the restraint a couple of minutes later, to a small, but expensive, excluded restaurant called Mūnfurawā no hanabira. Which was Moonflower Petals in Japanese. It was <em>such<em> a lovely place to eat.

We were supposed to go to an expensive, but busy, place called simply Resutoran de. Which was 'The Restaurant' in Japanese.

I guess Sasuke wanted to come to a place least likely for people to judge my clothing. Wow, you're really showing how much you, 'love' me, huh, Sasuke? Embarrassed to see your own 'future wife' in public? Yeah, I love you too.

A nice, but nervous, waiter came over to us.

"Um, what would you like to have to drink? Mr. Uchiha-san and his, um, er, ah, lovely…accomplice?"

"Well, I would like-"

But I cut him off before Sasuke could continue. Leaning across the table and practically flashing the poor, innocent waiter with my boobs, I filled in my order.

"Well, I would like your _largest and finest_ sake here. Also, since I've never been here before, I've got a little request. I've been feeling a little...low lately. Do you have a little something-something to get me up again?"

With Sasuke looking at me like I'm crazy, the waiter looking confused and nervous, I still continued with my act.

"You know. If your low, you use some,' looking at Sasuke, I leaned closer to the waiter and whispered into his ears, '_pills_ to, you know, get high again. Do you understand what I'm saying? If you do, slip it into my drink and let it dissolve. Before I eat, I like getting high with sake. It makes me feel better about myself."

Sasuke, which he probably heard every word I said since he's a ninja and we're trained to listen closely, widened his eyes. The waiter and Sasuke both spoke at the same time about their opinion of my request.

"Um, ma'am, we do not serve drugs."

"What are you talking about Sakura? Are you asking for _drugs? _And you use it to _feel better about yourself? _NO, future wife of mine will be _under the influence!_ Gosh, you're so troublesome. Oh great, now you are making me sound like Nara."

Rubbing his eyelids, he sighed. He suddenly looked ten years older. Good, Step 2 is working perfectly. Now to just play along.

"WHAT? YOU DON'T SERVE DRUGS? I _DEMAND_ A REFUND!" I yelled while slamming my fist into the table, making little crack marks into the table from my strength.

People from other tables looked at us for a brief moment, then turned back around and resumed eating and/or talking. Darn, I was hoping for a fight.

"Sakura! We didn't even buy anything! How could you demand a refund if we haven't bought anything? And also, you're a _medic-nin!_ What would Lady Hokage say if she knew about this? Oh my gosh Sakura, you're going to be the death of me."

I sighed at his last comment. If only, if only.

"Well, she doesn't need to know Sasuke! It can be our little secret between us hubbies, huh?"

Sighing, he got up and the frightened waiter moved aside.

"I'm sorry. Here's the money to pay for the damages. Hope you have a nice life."

Grabbing my arm, he yanked me up by the arm and began walking out the restaurant. But he stopped. He looked behind him and spoke in a low voice to the poor, frightened waiter.

"But don't _ever_ tell anyone about this, ever. Or, I will kill you."

And that was that. Well, that was a nice dinner. Even though we didn't eat anything.

Noticing that it was nighttime and we were the only ones outside beside the drunks and party-goers.

"Where are we going now?"

"To the Hokage?"

"Why?" I asked. I hope he doesn't want to go there because…

"Sakura, you have a substance abuse problem. And you're an alcoholic. You need help."

Oh god. If only I could tell Sasuke that I wasn't, but then he would get angry and badger me even more.

Why, Itachi? Why?

* * *

><p>"Awesome. You want to give me some kid?"<p>

We were in the Hokage's office and Tsunade just basically told us that she wanted to have some, after Sasuke ratted me out. Well, ratted out a lie.

"What? Pardon me for saying this Lady Hokage, but Sakura is one of the head doctors in the hospital. Shouldn't you want to make sure she _isn't _under the influence while treating the patients."

"As much as I hate to admit it, Sakura, he's right. So, by order of Hokage, Sakura, you will attend AA meeting tomorrow afternoon at 3 with other struggling nins."

With my mouth hanging open, I couldn't believe it.

I'm going to an AA meeting all because of a little lie I told.

I hate my life.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, what do you think? Like at **_**least **_**3 reviews this time. Or 5, lol. But what do you think of Sakura abusing drugs? Poor waiter . So, R&R!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **I'm finally updating, yay! Did you notice I deleted one of my stories and added a new one? Well, if you didn't, you should check it out. Kind of disappointed in reviews and stuff, but hey, at least I got more favorites and alerts. Yay! Here's Sakura and her counseling meeting with the other AA peeps. R&R. Oh yeah, on another note, I really need a beta! Do you know of anyone that could help? Here's chapter four!

New Favoriters:

JennyPoohMemories

EmoSakura95

Kyuki-chan

New Alerters:

Sana N

EmoSakura95

Anemane Kutchiki

Kyuki-chan

swordmistress2069

DaDancer09

Replies to Reviews:

JennyPoohMemories: I wonder, what does smh mean? Lol, and I will! Well, try at least!

jen1490: Well, my Sakura just decides to take the hard way. Lol, and I know, couldn't resist xD.

willam and jack and jake: Well, not all the time, lol xD.

* * *

><p><strong>Summary: <strong>She hated him. He tolerated her. She didn't like kids. He desired them. He is arrogant; and She's the baby-making machine. This is their story. AU; Drabbles. Non-massacre.

Key:

**Rip out his throat and feed it to TonTon! **~ Inner Sakura

_**You should totally do her. Like right now. **_~ Inner Sasuke (pretty much Sasuke's deprived hormones manifested itself into a mental person; like Inner Sakura)

_Heck yeah I will, but not here; too many witnesses/No I will not, you pervert. ~ _Thoughts to Inner Sakura/Sasuke or enunciated words

He/She remembered that day….. ~ Flashbacks

* * *

><p>Drabble 4<p>

Of Counseling and Fangirls

Sakura's POV again

* * *

><p>"How are you all doing today? <em>Oh, <em>I see we have new members today. Let's welcome Sakura, Ming, Chou and Yo."

Few clapped, most stood staring at the ground or us and one was enthusiastically clapping and yelling.

What type of mental torture did he go through?

I was at an AA meeting, and so far, I hate it.

I should be at the hospital, but _no_.

I now realize that I could've just told the truth to Sasuke and told him that I didn't want to go, but I just _had_ to take the hard way out, huh?

"So, I know you four might be nervous, but you don't have to be! This is a _fun and loving environment_ helping you to get over your issues. To start of today, I'll tell you my name. And then I'll tell you why I'm here and tell you a little bit about myself. Then lovely Sakura will repeat what I said, and do her version, but about herself. It's just an exercise for us to _get to know each other._"

Oh heaven help me. This dude is nuts. Here he is with bejeweled sunglasses, a colorful rainbow T-shirt and capris with flip flops. What is wrong with this dude?

"Okay, my name is Kuna (**A/N: I didn't feel like changing the names in Google translate, so I decided to just make them up!) **Dan. I am a counselor here and I love puppies! They're soooooo adorable! Now you Sakura!"

"Huh?"

I wasn't listening to one word he was saying. Now, I'm supposed to repeat what he said? Fuck my life.

"Ugh, your name is, ugh, er, I can't pronounce it very well, sorry," whew, that solves the name problem.

"It's okay, ya'll can just call me Dan, is that okay Sakura?"

"Just fine, and, er, you're a counselor here? And you like,' looking at his shirt, I'm going to assume it's, 'unicorns?"

Gasping at me, he stared at me for a long time.

"I said puppies, but you somehow knew I also liked unicorns."

What? Is this dude serious?

"Look, it wasn't very hard, you know, with your-"  
>"Are you a mind reader?"<p>

What?

How in the _hell_ did this dude become a counselor?

Lots of people were staring at me in woe; others were staring in space looking high, while the other girls, that I forgot their names, were glaring at me. What did I do to them?

Rushing to me, he got on his knees and grabbed my hands. Flinching back at our close proximity, I raised an eyebrow.

"Read my mind; guess what I'm thinking right now."

You know what, I don't even care.

To hell with it, might as well pass time.

"You're thinking that I can read minds?"

Gasping he stared at me with, stars in his eyes?

"So kawaii." He whispered silently.

How is 'reading minds' cute?

"You, are the greatest woman alive Sakura. Will you marry me?"

Oh great, now I have two guys that want to marry me.

I hate you Kami.

Karma, you're okay.

"No thank you." I said pulling my hands from his grasp. Pouting silently, he got back in his seat. Weirdo…

"Now that lovely Sakura has proved her amazing abilities, I think you still have to tell us the rest!"

Leaning forward in his seat silently, he looked at me eagerly; as did the other half did too.

"I'm here for doing drugs and I love killing unicorns." I said killing unicorns so that he will get discouraged, but unfortunately for me, it didn't.

"Hey! I like doing drugs and killing,' he gulped, 'unicorns! We have sooo many things in common, hey, we should get married!"

Damnit.

"Again, no thank you."

Pouting again, he began doodling while ordering those girls to go ahead.

"As leader of our group, I'll explain why we all are here."

Leader of their group? Wow.  
>"Well, we all are here because,' pointing at me angrily, 'Haruno stole our future husband from the 'We love Sasuke-cakes forever and ever club!"<p>

The 'We love Sasuke-cakes forever and ever club?'

What the _hell_ happened to nins of today?

Suddenly, the leader got up and rant toward me with a kunai. Then they all did.

Damnit.

Shity fucking fuck.

I do _not_ need this right now.

You know what Kami, you asshole? Whatever I did to you, you deserved it you baka. And you know what, I'm not sorry.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, what do you think? Lol, REVIEW! Like, at least 4 or 5 or something. Hope you liked this filter! I know it was short, but I wanted a little comedy for the fighting begins next chapter. Yeah, you'll start seeing more scenes with them on the battle field! Oh yeah, review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **I hate all of you….I'm just kidding. I mean, I'm mad at the people that DON'T review. I tried to stop feeling mad, and I keep thinking, 'oh, well, at least they alerted/favorited. You know?' But eventually, it's just not working any more. I try SO hard to get off my lazy butt and actually update the story, but only a few people review while a whole bunch of ya alert/review. All I'm asking is some constructive criticism or some, 'update soon!' or 'really funny' and 'awesome'. I don't care that's it one – three lettered! It's just one review! That's all I'm asking. Anyway, moving on.

New Favorites:

Devon Marie Darling

CupCakesKitten

New Alerters:

DaDancer09

carlaivy

Devon Marie Darling

CupCakesKitten

kakiro19

Responses for reviews:

XxXFiReBeNdErXxX: Thanks, and you're awesome for reviewing ;)

carlaivy: Thanks, I try to make it be :DD And, here I am!

willam and jack and jake: Shanks!

CupCakesKitten: Thanks, I'm glad you like it! And, here I am!

* * *

><p><strong>Summary: <strong>She hated him. He tolerated her. She didn't like kids. He desired them. He is arrogant; and She's the baby-making machine. This is their story. AU; Drabbles. Non-massacre.

Key:

**Rip out his throat and feed it to TonTon! **~ Inner Sakura

_**You should totally do her. Like right now. **_~ Inner Sasuke (pretty much Sasuke's deprived hormones manifested itself into a mental person; like Inner Sakura)

_Heck yeah I will, but not here; too many witnesses/No I will not, you pervert. ~ _Thoughts to Inner Sakura/Sasuke or enunciated words

He/She remembered that day….. ~ Flashbacks

* * *

><p>Drabble 5<p>

Of Stolen Kisses and Bets

Sasuke's POV

* * *

><p>She threw a couple shuriken at me and I dodged easily and counter attacked with a kick to her chest. Grabbing my leg, she tried to swing me around with her strength, but I pushed my feet into the ground and flipped out of her hands doing a back flip, but she dodged and threw a couple of kunai at me.<p>

We've been going at this for a while now, Sakura and I. It was a constant flow of attacking, dodging and counter attacking. Sai and the dobe were training too and Kakashi and Yamato were merely observing. Well, Yamato was and Kakashi was reading porn and giggling/blushing every couple of minutes.

You might be wondering why I'm not asking her to marry me, well on the field, we're different. We're not two people who have a one-sided love relationship, with her being the one trying to vie for my feelings. What? I know she loves me, everybody loves me. Mother says so.

Anyway, we're comrades who will do anything to make sure the other stays alive. Yes, all the friendship mushy things. But I'm not mushy, so I will not explain to you our complex relationship.

_**Damn, she looks sexy right now. With that short skirt, and that tight shirt. And oh, don't get me started on her sweaty body, with those delish heaving breasts. **_

_Oh, it's you again. _

_**Why ask so annoyed? Did you miss me? **_

_No, now go drown yourself. _

**Really**_** hard to do if you don't have hands and is just a mental manifestation of your reduced hormones.**_

_Wow, you actually sound smart._

_**Hey, I **_**am**_** you. Just a perverted you, that's all. Anyway, did you do her yet?**_

_No._

_**So you going to stay a virgin forever huh?**_

_I'm sorry I'm not a manwhore._

_**Why can't you be? It's fun.**_

_Because I'm afraid the girls I will go with will rape _me _instead of us having fun or whatever._

_**Wow, you're actually staying **_**pure**_** for Sakura? Look, I know Sakura may be hot and all, but there are plenty of fish in the sea buddy. Now go do some fishing* (**_**A/N at the bottom!).**

_No thank you, I have Sakura._

_**She clearly doesn't want you **_**and**_** you did choose the one female in the entire universe that isn't affected by our charm. SO, a reasonable answer why you like her could be….Sasuke, are you gay? For Naruto? Or is it Sai?**_

_You're an idiot, and no. And Sakura _is_ affected by my charm, she just likes playing hard to get. She loves me._

_**Selfish much?**_

_You are too idiot._

_**Why you talking about yourself?**_

_Shut up, I have to concentrate. I'm sparring with Sakura._

_**Why don't you just kiss her?**_

_As much as appealing that is, I see no reason to._

_**Well, you're not looking at it from **_**my **_**perspective. I see a chance to kiss our girl, and a way to distract her enough to win the spar. A win-win for Team Sasuke.**_

_I might consider it._

_**Do it dumbass. **_

_Fine then._

Dodging a fist to my stomach, I grabbed her arm and pulled her to me roughly. Realizing where she was, she began lifting herself to twist out of my arms, I pulled her closer to me and kissed her.

Everything seemed to stand still when my mouth met hers. Out of my corner of my eye, I could see Naruto standing there with his mouth open and gaping, spouting out mumblings and Sai standing there with his eyebrows up, looking at our position with interest. Kakashi was nodding his head up and down, weirdo, and Yamato just rolled his eyes and faced the other way. Last but not least, Sakura was frozen. With her eyes wide open and her mouth slightly parted, I enjoyed her reaction the most.

Feeling bored with our mouth closed, I deepened the kiss and wrapped my arms around her. She was clutching my biceps, which were totally smexy by the way, and her eyes were slowly shutting close. Rubbing my tongue along her bottom lip, she gasped softly and with her mouth open even more, I forced my tongue through her lips. I groaned and tightened my arms even more. She tasted _exquisite. _She had the taste of tomatoes and the hint of mint. Her tongue shyly met mine and I smirked against our mouths. She was so cute.

But then something changed. She froze and suddenly seemed to come out of a trance slowly. Oh crap. Pulling out a kunai faster than her chakra enhanced fist could reach my face, I pressed it against her throat.

"I win."

Her mad expression went clear and she relaxed. Good, she understood. Putting her hand out, she raised her eyebrows.

"Good game?"

Nodding to myself, I smirked. If I could steal one measly kiss from her, and get away from it, then what else can I get away from with her?

I placed my hand to her hand, but didn't expect to be roughly pulled toward her and chakra enhanced fist coming toward me.

I don't remember much after that.

* * *

><p>I wake up to something dripping, a beeping, and faint muffled voices followed by a crash with footsteps retreating. Opening my eyes, I groaned. I had a pounding headache. Moving around slightly to get comfortable, I noticed that my leg was wrapped up, like it was sprained. Hm, maybe Sakura is strong. Pulling my hand up, I was going to wipe my forehead when I noticed that something was connected to my hand. It was like a needle, and I followed the chord and saw that it was a baggy with, sniffing slightly to see what it is, morphine.<p>

Ugh, I hate IV's. Reaching up, I prepared to rip out the IV when something or someone I should say, stopped me.

"Mr. Uchiha, if you do that, you'll bleed yourself to that and make me _very_ disappointed. And here I was, hoping to distract you from the hospital. Oh well, you are in a hospital for a reason."

Looking over at a woman, who was in simpler terms, a hoe.

Wearing an opened up doctors jacket with cleavage showing, and her belly button with a short skirt (how could it even be called a skirt?) with high heels. I expect this is her trying to be sexy, but she's failing, horribly. Even Ino would look better in that. Oh wait, bad images! Bad images!

_**Dude, there's your chance! Look at **_**that** _**goldfish. I'd screw her, and so should you. Because this fish just **_**wants **_**to be ravished. Now go!**_

_Look at her, but sorry, she probably has herpes, and I don't like dying of STDs anytime in the future._

…_**virgin.  
><strong>__Thank you for stating the obvious, dumbass._

_**Hn.  
><strong>_

Smirking at shutting the perverted _thing _out of my mind, I finally realized that that nurse was walking toward me, and shaking her hips in an exaggerated manner, that made her look like she had trouble walking. She was giving me this 'flirty' look with her eyes closed slightly and pouting, but it made her look like she was constipated to me.

"So,' she said looking over at my chart, slightly leaning over me to show me her chest, 'it seems you've managed to skip the physical for the past three years. Sasuke, you've been a _very bad boy._ I think you need a punishment."

I, frankly, was not amused at all. But my Inner, unfortunately, was. He had stars in his eyes and was screaming: "Go get some Sasuke! Do you see that size of those tits? Sasuke, you better touch them! Boobies, that girl got some boobies. And she wants us, go touch those boobies. We getting some tonight, we getting some tonight, we're manwhores."

Before I could stop her, for I am injured you do understand, she hopped on my legs. Ugh, it hurt so bad. Before I could push her off, the door opened and I heard the dobe yelling.

"Teme! First you kiss my girlfriend, and then you're about do this nurse? Teme, you can do this nurse, but not Sakura-can. She's mine."

"Dobe, shut up. And nurse, get off."

Sighing, she got up off me and walked away, but not without running her fingers dangerously close to my special area.

"Okay, but you have a broken leg, mild concussion and a couple of broken ribs. They should be healed in two weeks, so I'd advise you not to train so hard, but knowing shinobi, you're probably going to train and go on missions the first second you get out of this hospital."

"Hn. But why couldn't you heal them?"

"Well, it's not my fault the head doctor forbid it, saying, and I quote: 'The bastard doesn't deserve any healing after what he did, I swear if it wasn't for Naruto, I would've killed him.' Anyway, you will be checked out in a couple of hours. Have a nice day, _Sasuke-kun." _Winking at me, she walked away, well, not without flashing me with half her behind out of her skirt.

_**You cock-blocker! Usually it's the women who cock-block, but now it's you! Wow, we're going to die a virgin. Or blue balls.**_

_Hn._

"Oi, Teme! Why would you kiss my girlfriend?" Naruto yelled, yelling at me.

"Dobe, since when was Sakura your girlfriend?" With a shocked face while I was smirking, he thought of an excuse.

"Well, she doesn't know it yet, but she knows that I love her. That should be enough."

I almost rolled my eyes, but alas, I'm Sasuke Uchiha.

"You know what Sasuke? Let's have a bet. The first one to get Sakura to kiss them, not the other way around, wins Sakura of course. I'm obviously going to win, since I am not called good looking for nothing."

Fine. It's a win-win-win situation.

I beat Naruto.

I get Sakura.

In turn gets the clan elders off my back about marrying.

Win-win-win situation that _I_ can easily win.

"Fine, deal."

"Deal."

Shaking hands, though with difficulty on my part, Naruto then began telling me everything since I passed out. It's so annoying, but it's Naruto.

Now, how to get Sakura to kiss me…

* * *

><p><strong>*Haha, it's a joke I have with my friends. Insider, just had to put that in there xD<strong>

**A/N: So, I have a question for you all. Do you read my author notes? Lol, it's just a test to see if you really do. Oh yes, I'm smarticle. SO, Review! At least 5 and up! Four is forbidden amount of reviews!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Made some revisions to the ending (at 9/27/11), so if you already read this chapter, go to the bottom of the page since I fixed it! **

**I will put a -:- break before the area where I changed the ending so you know where I changed it and can find it faster. Enjoy!**

**A/N: Yay! 5 people reviewed! Not as much as I would've liked, but hey, at least ya'll reviewed! I love you all that actually review! Anyway, wrote this story while listening to Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne, so I'll try not to make it so angsty, lol. And, one question, I keep getting all these, 'love the story!', 'Inner Sasuke is high-larious', and some, 'this is really funny,' reviews. Is it really funny? Just some curiosity. Now here's the newbies to the story xD **

**New Favoriters:**

**Mini-Stack (who is like, one of my favorite SasuSaku writers, and actually reviewed! Eep!)**

**.Xx**

**New Alerters:**

**RoseCallisto **

**Lil'cuppyCAKEZ**

**BlackandPink is Love **

**nikushi**

**Now to reply to some reviews:**

**JennyPoohMemories:**(chapter four review) Oh, wow, I feel stupid xD And, lol, I have AT&T internet, and it's a pain.

**JennyPoohMemories:** (chapter five review) Haha, yes, Sasuke IS smart in this story, lol.

**Mini-Stack:**Lol, who doesn't? And might I say, I heart your 'Fifteen Minutes of Fame' story. Absolutely brilliant. Thank you, and here I am!

**Lil'cuppyCAKEZ:**Might I say, I heart your username! And here I am!

**Kyuki-chan:**I heart your profile pic! Aww, don't you just love Gaara? All he needs is a hug (and a couple of people to kill xD). And thanks, I thought that was exactly how Sakura would respond, but you know he will.

**.Xx:**Thanks! I'm glad you love it! (I'm sooo sorry! It won't let me put your name! Ugh, gosh!

**Now, onto Sasuke's plans and fails! I mean come on, what else can we expect?**

* * *

><p><strong>Summary: <strong>She hated him. He tolerated her. She didn't like kids. He desired them. He is arrogant; and She's the baby-making machine. This is their story. AU; Drabbles. Non-massacre.

Key:

**Rip out his throat and feed it to TonTon! **~ Inner Sakura

_**You should totally do her. Like right now. **_~ Inner Sasuke (pretty much Sasuke's deprived hormones manifested itself into a mental person; like Inner Sakura)

_Heck yeah I will, but not here; too many witnesses/No I will not, you pervert. ~ _Thoughts to Inner Sakura/Sasuke or enunciated words

He/She remembered that day….. ~ Flashbacks

* * *

><p>Drabble Six<p>

Of Trials and Errors

Sasuke's POV

* * *

><p><em>Trial #1<em>

_Day 2 in hospital_

_Mission: Escape the Hospital _

_How: Walk away from the room, and out the hospital entrance._

_Level of difficulty: Easy; since they're all idiots._

I finally got away from that crazy chick, and was sneaking down the hallway like the ninja I am, when some random nurse showed up out of nowhere.

"S-S-S-Sasuke-kun? Is that you?"

Looking behind me, I saw a girl that I've never met in my life.

"OMG, Sasuke-kun! I'm you're _biggest fan._ I am the president of 'Sasu-cakes will be sexy forever and ever and while he's hot, we will worship him' or SCWBSFAEAWHHWWWH."

What the hell?

Even though it's a flatter to my overly-large ego, she's holding my escape from this hospital.

"Thanks, now bye."

Before I could walk, limp I should say, she grabbed my arm.

Okay, this girl obviously wants to get killed.

"Okay, I have to tell _everyone _in the club that you're here, have to tell my parents that I _actually_ talked to you. Have to tell you that I _touched you and everything_ in a…..hospital where I worked…OMFG! Who hurt you? _I'll kill them!"_

Of course, while she was talking, I did what any ninja did best.

Escape.

"Wait, where'd you go? Sasuke-kun! _Sasu-cakes, don't you dare fucking leave me."_ Was what I heard while slipping around the corner.

Yes!

**Aww, come on! We could've tapped that!**

_Oh, you again, _and_ she was like 15, that's illegal and would've been called rape. I do not want to go to jail anytime soon._

_**You're not looking at the big picture! You see, it's not rape, if she likes it. **_

…_you're obsessed with getting us laid._

_**Well, since we're stating the obvious now, you're a virgin. But that can change! With a condom (we don't want some little Sasuke's running around too early now) and some hot chick. Then, add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide her leggsss….**_

_**Yes, I see it now. I can't wait! **_He screamed, he then started 'running around' and screaming 'boobies!'. I tuned him out for that was just annoying.

Okay, now to face matters that is in my hands.

To find a nurse who won't rape me, which will be a challenge upon itself, and ask her kindly, demanding, to heal my wounds.

The sooner I can get out of this godforsaken hospital, the sooner I can get to Sakura and demand she heal me.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, with the random nurse that wants to rape Sasuke...(the crazy one)…um, that's not clear enough, because they're all crazy.<p>

The one that is a hoe…still not clear enough, Damnit! You know what I mean! The one that is a nurse who told him not to yank the IV out and was calling him a bad boy and everything. You know the one? If you don't, who cares. I'm tired of explain myself. Now, onto the story!

I was hurrying down the hall to _Sasu-cakes _room. It was time for his hourly (minutely) check-up to see if he escaped or not. Okay, the only reason _my__ Sasuke-cakes_ would ever stay in this hospital for so long is because he obviously loves me! I mean, who doesn't? Of course, my mother _does_ say that she doesn't a lot about me and complaining about how 'I ruined her life', 'If I wasn't a hoe you wouldn't be here', 'If your father wasn't so sexy' and least of all ladies and gentleman, 'I was young and seventeen! I should've been partying, but _no_, I was forcing your big ass out my vagina'. **(A/N: This story is called T for a reason!) **

But who cares what she says? She's too busy going through menopause. It explains everything. Though it is weird that she has been going through menopause for the past 15 years. Like after I was born. It _does_ explain why I'm the only child, but it's weird that it's been going on for so long. And around my birth….just a coincidence. Reaching his door, I shaked my hair to get that 'just got out of bed' look and applied a fresh coat of lip gloss to get my lips ready for the smooching. Pulling down my shirt to show more cleavage than was necessary, but it showed that I had lots of boobs. Much more than that pink-haired bitch slut who's trying to steal _my_ man, _Sasuke-cakes_. I pulled up my short skirt to have a better view of my thong, and prepared to go inside. Because today, _my__ precious Sasuke-cakes will officially be __mine._And then we will get married and have 58 kids! I can't wait!

Pushing open the door, I was greeted with him sleeping underneath the covers. Silly man! You can't do that! You'll suffocate yourself, and die. But he _is_ a ninja, so he will survive since he's so strong. And Kami _knows_ that I love me a strong man, _especially_ a ninja that's sexy like him.

Walking over to his bed, I pulled open his covers and was greeted with pillows and a note. Before freaking out, I realized that maybe he escaped because some other hot ninja wanted me so he wanted to fight him to the death for my love! That's what he probably put in the note. Also, he left because he couldn't tell me because he knew I would be worried about him. Aww, _my__ Sasuke-cakes_ is so sweet! Picking up the note with a smile on my face, I read it.

"_Hello, random fan girl nurse,_

_I am writing to you because I escaped from the hospital, and you, hopefully for life. I think although you compliment me, and not to mention boost my ego, you are weird. You act sluttish, and you will _never _be a part of the Uchiha clan, much less the future Uchiha matriarch. Sakura is the only one for me. You can go around crying to me, but I won't care. You are also weak, weaker than Sakura in her genin days. I don't even like you anyways. You can get kidnapped for all I care. So, with that being said, go drown yourself. Try to have a nice, horrible, life without ever seeing me again. The 'love of your life.'_

_~Uchiha Sasuke,_

_The one that you think loves you, but doesn't."_

Okay, you can imagine this poor nurse to be horrified, and she was, but for a different reason than you might think. For what Sasuke didn't expect, was this nurse to have poor vision and couldn't see all of the words on the page for she left her glasses at home since they were horrible. So, this is what she read:

"_Hello, nurse,_

_I am writing to you because, you compliment me…and will be the future Uchiha matriarch. Sakura can come crying to me, but I won't care. I like you…..got kidnapped, so try to have a nice life without ever seeing me again._

_~Sasuke,_

_The one that loves you."_

"Oh my god! I knew he loved me!"

So, there you have it. This was the downfall of Trial 1 of escaping the hospital, which failed.

"Nurse, Uchiha Sasuke just got kidnapped!"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, with Sasuke.<p>

I was a couple of feet away from the hospital lobby, just minding my business and since no one stopped me, when lights started flashing red. With my ninja senses on high alert, I wondered what was going on, and how could Sakura work in this place.

_**Obviously, the lights are flashing red since it's sensing our smexy approach to the door.**_

_As much as that could be true, I mean come on, I'm  
>Uchiha Sasuke! That is unlikely….and you're an idiot.<em>

_**Hey! It was just a nice thought!**_

_Hn._

Looking around, I saw that some nurses were running around and calling people hurriedly and papers were everywhere. Walking into the lobby, I saw a frantic Sakura walking around anxiously. Hm, I wonder what's the matter with her.

"Sakura, what's happening?"

10 things happened after I asked that question.

1. Sakura whirled around and gasped.

2. Her face had a look of relief, happiness, and then anger. All at the same time.

3. Everyone in the hospital lobby stopped what they were doing and relaxed.

4. There were lots of, "Everyone calm down," "It was just a misunderstanding," "Thank _goodness _he's okay," and "Yay! Sasuke-kun you're okay!"

5. Sakura was severely ticked off for some reason.

6. I was still confused.

7. She started stalking toward me.

8. The hospital became normal again.

9. She punched me with her chakra-enhanced fist, since I wasn't able to dodge it in time; I blame the morphine for slowing my ninja mojo.

10. Darkness greeted after that, with a headache.

_Mission result: Failure to complete._

* * *

><p><em>Trial #2<em>

_Day 6 in hospital_

_Mission: Escape the hospital._

_How: Let's try the window this time._

_Level of difficulty: It depends on how well I can land on my leg._

Standing by the window, I prepared to jump out when I heard a stern voice behind me. One that scared the crap out of me.

"I hope you aren't planning to escape again mister, with what happened a couple of days ago. Now, get your booty in this bed and rest before I ground you."

Turning around slowly, I met the eyes of my mother; Uchiha Mikoto.

_Mission result: Failure to complete since mother's nagging ways._

**_Damn, we screwed._**

* * *

><p><em>Trial #5<em>

_Day 10 in hospital_

_Mission: Escape this god forsaken place!_

_How: Screw it, I'm going to teleport out of here._

_Level: It depends on how fast I do it and who catches me._

Running through the symbols for the teleportation jutsu, I was about to do the last symbol, when _he _interrupted me by grabbing my hand.

"I hope foolish otouto you aren't trying to escape, mother told me you would do this, but I didn't believe her. It seems that mother is always right."  
>Glaring off into space, I hopped back into bed with a groan.<p>

_Mission result: Failure to complete because of Itachi. Curse aniki and his sucking up to mother ways._

_**Tattle tell!**_

* * *

><p><em>Trial #56<em>

_Day 14, aka, last day in hospital_

_Mission: Escape this jail._

_How: Run._

_Level of difficulty: Hard, since everyone wants me to stay in this place._

I tried _everything. _

I'm going crazy!

But now, I'm just going to wing it and run like hell.

You see before, everyone just _had _to visit.

Most of them I didn't even know or care to know, or my Fangirls.

Who left me an endless supply of chocolate, tomatoes, and get-well-soon cards.

Chocolate and the get-well-soon cards can suck it, but I ate those tomatoes. And they were pretty darn good if you ask me.

But don't, since I would most likely ignore you.

Before I could get out of bed, the door opened and 'the love of my life' walked in.

Sakura, sweet Sakura.

With her punching ways and her way to be less annoying than her genin days, just get me. You know?

Walking over to me, she began looking me over and checking things off of her clipboard.

_**You know, this is pretty hot. Sakura in her little doctor number and you as the ill patient, this could turn out to be pretty good if you ask me. **_

_Why? _I asked, slightly wincing when she probed a particular area hard that was bruised.

_**Because, idiot, the patient and the doctor? Come on, you don't know of that fantasy? The female doctor 'helping' the patient get better by….doing some pretty kinky things and they always end with her riding the patient like a horse.**_

_Pervert._

"Okay, you're free to go. If I had it _my way, _you would stay here longer since you tried to leave this hospital when I _told the nurse_ to make sure you should stay since you had to heal properly, but no."

"Well, this all would've been prevented if you healed me on the first day Sakura." The implied dumbass was unspoken, but you could practically hear it.

"Fine! You know what? I _was _feeling a little bad for you and was going to heal the rest of your bruises, but not anymore! You're just going to have to leave still injured, and take this nin leave from missions and training for a month!"

A _month?_

_I already spent two freaking weeks without any ninja training going on!_

"Do you know how much training I could've done Sakura? Now I can't do anything else for a month?"

Smirking at me, she handed me the paper that was one her clipboard that had the horrible news.

"Yes, I do, but you're just going to have to deal with it. Now, I have to go now. I have a date to go to."

-:-

Before she could get a foot away from the hospital bed, I grabbed her arm.

"What? Did you just say you were going on a date?" I said, astonished that she would even _agree _to go out on a date with someone other than _me. _

"Yes, I am going out on a date with a guy. He's nice, sweet, and _doesn't _treat me like a trophy item. Unlike _some _people." She said, looking pointedly at me.

"I forbid you for going." I said, there, that would put her in her place.

"You _what? You forbid me? _Who do you think you are?"

Rolling my eyes, I looked at her like she was crazy.

_And she is._

"Uchiha Sasuke, and yes, I _do _forbid you for going out on a date with some _guy _that won't even be here in the future."

She was growing redder by the second, but I didn't care. She needed to know some things to be the new Uchiha matriarch.

"_He won't be here in the future? _How do you know that Sasuke? You don't own me!"

"Well, I don't own you now, but I will. When you become my wife."

She was then shaking and was as red as a tomato.

A cute tomato actually.

I like tomatoes.

Especially cute ones.

But the tomato doesn't seem so cute anymore.

Actually, the tomato seems quite hot if you ask me.

_**A sexy tomato.**_

_You know, this is something me and you could actually agree on._

_**Oh, and Sasuke,**_

_What?_

_**Sakura is-**_

But before he could finish his sentence, I heard screaming to my right. Seeming to get out of my thoughts, I looked at Sakura while her chest was heaving up and down like she was screaming at me a while ago.

"What?" I asked honestly, since I wasn't listening to her little rant.

"You weren't even listening to me!"

"Nope."

Eyes widening comically, she sputtered for a second before she exploded.

"_Sasuke!"_

She screamed, before she punched me in the face, for like the third time already.

If she keeps this up then my pretty face might actually get scarred.

_**I was going to say that Sakura was screaming at you about how stupid you are, how much you are an 'arrogant ass' but before I could tell you, I got distracted by her boobs. But oh well, at least you know now not to ignore her.**_

_**Even **_**I _knew that._**

_**And you call **_**me **_**an idiot.**_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Whew! That sure was long! 17 pages! 3,000+ words! Longest chapter yet! Anyway, I didn't do every day since I was too lazy to do that. Anyway, did you like the nurse? I didn't give her a name for a reason, since she won't be important at all, neither the other one. Did you like to hear that Naruto is going out on a date with Sakura? What a shocker! Now, for this chapter, I'm requesting at least 5-8 reviews! That's not so bad is it? Anyway, review! And tell me what you thought about this chappie!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: A short sneaky update, but I was able to write something down! Enjoy!**

**Reviewers:**

willam and jack and jake: It's awesome ;)

NoOneXII: Lol,isn't Sasuke just crazy?

JennyPoohMemories: Thanks! And it made _me _laugh to write it!

Lil'cuppyCAKEZ: Thanks so much! I know, it was my form of torturing him xD! And here I am!

Naruto-Neko: Thanks, and I'm sorry about the creepy stalker dude xD. It feels nice to know that people _actually _laugh at my lame jokes! (Lee/Gai super smile, xDDDDDDDDD(yes, that smile deserves about how many capitalized 'D's there are for I'm too lazy to count))

thedoggydog2: Thanks, and here I am!

_Author note in chapter 7, so I will give them some credit too!_

Azure13: I love your name and thanks! Wooten! I love Avril Lavigne, she's awesomely beast. And yay! Another fellow 13 & ¾ year old!

**New Favoriters:**

SupahCreativeArtist

xStarPukex

.Xx

Anber

isaacdrecinos

Cute Neko Obession

ImmaBeForever

Naruto-Neko

Greenerseyes

thedoggydog2

Azure13

Tsuki no Sakura-11

Wow, I've been gone for a long time huh? Or is my story that awesome xD

**New Alerters:**

EmeriCherryblossom

ImmaBeForever

Naruto-Neko

whatsername810

thedoggydog2

Azure13

Tsuki no Sakura-11

.Didi

cutecookiechick

...Me

I love you all! Now, onto the story!

* * *

><p>That man was so, so, so, so, <em>ugh<em>.

No words to explain how frustrated I am with him.

'Sakura you can't do this' 'Sakura you can't do that' 'Sakura I _forbid _you.'

Who does he think he is?

Of course, with Sasuke, he would probably respond with looking at you like an idiot and saying, 'Uchiha Sasuke, but I thought you already knew that.'

**Why every time I come back, you're always grumpy. I would expect **_**some **_**happiness. A 'hello, how are you' would be nice.**

_Oh, you're back, again._

**I thought hearing from your childhood friend would bring you happiness, but it seems I was mistaken.**

_I'm not in a good mood right now._

**Stop being such a drama queen. You have a hot guy who….I wouldn't say **_**love **_**you per se, but…. He's interested in you.**

_No he doesn't! All he wants to do is knock me up and sleep with other women while we are 'happily married.'_

**Now why do you assume that? What did he do that pissed you off so bad?**

_He forbid me._

…**that's it? Wait, what did her forbid you from?**

_From dating other guys! He acts like he owns me! As if! I'm going to show him. You know that weird, but still sweet medic who tries, but fails, to flirt with me?_

**No I do not. You know why? Because I'm not here all the freaking time. But let me guess. You're going to go out with him to get Sasuke jealous and discouraged.**

_Yes, I am! You know me so well. It's foolproof. It's going to work, and we will go back to our teammate-friendship stage. _

**Fine, whatever. But you and I both know that will only encourage him. And I know you're doing this because you want him to. Good luck with your 'foolproof' plan,**

I snorted. What does she know?

Time to get my pretty on.

* * *

><p>I tried, I really did.<p>

I finally realize I have no fashion sense.

At all.

My outfit doesn't even match for Kami's sake!

So, I called in the pro.

Who was also Konoha's #1 gossip queen.

The one and only,

Ino Yamanaka.

"Forehead! What the hell happened to you? You are just plain _sad _in the fashion department. But that's why I'm here! Anyway, I hear you're going out with a cute medic today? Finally! You're going to lose your pathetic v-card!"

I looked sexy.

Smart.

Modest.

Sophisticated.

But all around sexy.

"There! Now tell me _everything _when you get back! Don't leave anything out! Now go to your man!"

Tonight is going to be a good night.

* * *

><p>"So, Sakura-san. How are you?"<p>

"Sakura will be fine and good. Red wine please," she said to her date, Lou and to the waiter.

Who looked oddly familiar.

Who was looking at her like she was going to do something crazy.

I wonder what's his problem.

"That's good Sakura. You sure do look lovely tonight."

And yes, I did.

With my red dress with a plunging neckline and slits up the side to show off my legs and high heels to make me look taller than I already was, yes, I was fine.

Ino, is once again, my best friend.

What I would do without her, I don't know.

"Thank you."

And that was that.

We sat there in awkward silence, both of us wondering what to do next. I stiffened slightly, but not enough to tell, when I noticed a not carefully hidden chakra signature outside by the window in the tree.

One that should be in the hospital.

One that should still be injured.

One who doesn't listen to my instructions at all.

One with the name Uchiha Sasuke.

_Might as well give him a show, _I silently thought.

Moving forward, I prepared to flirt shamelessly with Lou.

"So, Lou, how about afterword, your place or mine?"

Flustering he fumbled with his drink and almost dropped it.

"Um, Sakura! I thought I would walk you home, if that's okay with you?"

"My place it is, _Lou." _I said while caressing his name. I think I sounded sexy.

Now, he was a tomato. He was fidgeting in his chair and looked like he was going to pass out any second.

Rawr, I'm so sexy.

"Excuse me, Sakura-san. I have to go use the men's-" I stopped him before he could go by running my finger up his arm.

"I. thought. I. told. You. To. Call. Me. Sak. U. ra. _Lou," _I said. Every time I cut off, I moved my hand higher.

"M-m-m-m-my mistake Sakura! I have to go now!"

Then he left with a barely covered boner.

Wow.

Not even impressive.

I put my head in my hand when I sensed a person sitting across from me, one that was not Lou.

"Sakura, if you're trying to get me jealous, you're failing. I'm obviously a full blooded man, he's just a boy. I would appreciate you being sexy for me, and he runs to the men's bathroom to take care of his little 'problem.' And you know, you do look ravishing tonight. I'm pretty sure I remember you not looking this good for our date earlier. Is this your casual wear? Because if my memory serves me, you're formal wear made you look homeless."

If you didn't already figure it out, there you have, ladies and gentlemen, Uchiha Sasuke.

"First of all, why are you stalking our date? I find Lou flustered cute, if you ask me. And yes, this is my casual. So, you can leave now. And I'm not trying to make you jealous."

I said, while looking up at him.

For a while, we sat in silence, studying each other.

"Fine, if you want to play this little game, because it _will _end soon, I'll play it."

"What game Sasuke?"

"Oi, Sakura! I came to save you from Teme!"

"Sakura-san, are you cheating on me?"

"Ma'am, here's your check."

Why, oh why did this have to happen to me?

**What's the problem? I see two hot males, Lou does **_**not **_**count, who wants us. **

**I say let's jump them.**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **So sorry for it being short! Did it super fast, but hope you liked it! Review! Like 5 and up please!


End file.
